Friday, 11 May 2007

Avengers #386 is part of a big 90s crossover called 'Taking AIM'. You couldn't tell from this issue fortunately - it foregoes all the crossover silliness and instead we get one big long fight scene featuring the Red Skull - which is never bad!

The Red Skull is great. Never has this been more evident than in this issue. I mean he's wearing a big, crinkly, PVC outfit and he's still badass! That's like the dictionary definition of greatness!

These days we're so used to seeing Skull behind a desk in a three piece suit giving off at some bone-themed minion that it's easy to forget that he is a big honking NAZI! It's a sadly underused aspect of his character nowadays.

Bob Harris obviously agrees. In this issue he puts together a team of second string Avengers, all from genetic stock that Uncle Adolf would love, and proceeds to let the Skull kick the bejesus out of them!

First he takes out the decidedly non-Ayran Crystal with a good old fashioned knuckle sandwich to the chops. Seems the Skull's been taking fighting tips from the redneck husbands on Jerry Springer who find out their wives are sleeping with their Uncle Goober.
Talk to the hand bitch!


Then Quicksilver, trying to act the big man, steps in. So Skull dangles him over a bottomless pit by his dirty gypsy neck while talking smack about his pops!
Your pops was born on the wagon of a travelling show!


History repeats itself as our Nazi chum has the most trouble with a sneaky Cossack. The Black Widow puts up one hell of a fight - jumping around, mouthing off, she even uses the classic 'coat in the face' manoeuvre that always works so well on Leslie Neilsen.
Your trendy 90s fashion is no match for me!

Inevitably she meets the same fate as her snazzy, members-only Avengers jacket. He would've have finished that Russian dog too if he had just had his pager on vibrate.
The Skull is on top, yankee-stomping, smack-talking form throughout, and it's always a little fun to watch the high and mighty Avengers get trounced. He scores an awesome victory for the Reich that should have you goose-stepping around like John Cleese with your arm in the air and a finger over your lip yelling 'Hail' at the top of your lungs.

No?

Fine then! Cling to your precious democracy if you must, see where that gets you! One day you'll come crawling back, begging to kiss the Red Skull's yellow, PVC boots! You mark my words!

BWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!
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