Monday, 19 December 2016

Superman: Post-Crisis Punch-Up #7

It's been a while but at long last Post Crisis Punch-Up is back. We're going to check in and see what our big blue buddy was getting up to way back in May 1987. The good news is we're coming back in the same fashion that we left off with a sterling offering of books any one of which could've snagged our coveted top spot. So without further ado - let's see which one did.

Adventures Of Superman #430: I'm not kidding when I say any of these issues could've been top of the pile. In fact I feel a bit bad putting Marv and Jerry's Adventures back in the third spot yet again. This was a great issue and I enjoyed the hell out of it. Only it's lack of giant orange Amazonian chicas and lusty Platnium skanks kept it from glory. That doesn't detract a single thing from the awesome building story we're getting here. This might feature lots of Supes tussling with the Fearsome Five, a lamer bunch of super-villains you'd be hard pressed to find, but it is Clark's internal tussle that really takes centre stage. The burdens of his double life are gnawing at him in this one to the point that he's questioning whether being Clark and Superman is even a viable option. The whole thing is topped off with a wonderful heart-warming, mind-easing, father-son confab and a joyously triumphant rematch in which a smiling Supes takes down the Five and leaves us fist-pumping our way home. Could that possibly even be a sneaky tie back to the ongoing Circle subplot that I spy? Sneaky one fellas. Loved it.

Action Comics #590: Superman teaming up with the Metal Man by John Byrne and Dick Giordano? This one had me at hello. I don't think it's possible to have a comic book that features Doc Magnus and his magnificent Metal Men that's not awesome and this issue does nothing to prove that theory wrong. Byrne has these guys down pat - he's got them bickering, he's got Tin being bumbling, Mercury being snotty, Platnium putting the moves on a less than receptive Doc Magnus - complete with pipe! That's before we even mention the return of Chemo - this time shaped like a giant Superman! This one was a smorgasbord of all the beautifully clunky super-powered nonsense that makes the Metal Men great. It had the Metal Men joining together to form aeroplanes, Chemo-trapping domes and even a giant Metal-Man flavoured Voltron! All this wack-a-doodle is complimented delightfully by Supes getting his science on to win the day. He super-heats Chemo's chemical innards with some heat vision, turning him into steam, then super-breaths his goopy ass into orbit. Even if we're left in the dark as to why Doc Magnus is being such a jerk - this issue was still pure unadulterated comic-book joy. A+

Superman v2 #7: So this time around Superman by Byrne and Kesel scored the top spot. Why you ask? Well...I'm not really sure if I'm honest. It didn't have Metal Men or a touching fatherly moment with Pa Kent. I guess the idea that Lois Lane may have turned into a giant, solar-powered, orange-skinned, mohawk-sporting, Amazonian loony tune just kind of tickles me for some reason. The disappointment when we found out that Lois got blown up in mad scientist's experiment and all she got was this stupid head bandage didn't even ruin it because it was timed and executed kinda great. As it turns out the aforementioned giant amazonian chica, dubbed Rampage by the always inventive Metropolis media, actually turns out to be Doctor Kitty Faulkner. It's her lab and her renewable energy experiment that blew up. I'm not 100% on the science - but what I can tell you is when it blows up it imbues you with incredible strength, uncontrollable rage and Lois Lane's stupid 80s haircut:

Do You Like Flock Of Seagulls?

I had a blast reading this issue - even if I can't put my finger on why. I loved the Lois is the villain fake-out. I loved how the radiation suit design finally gave us a viable excuse for a female super-villain wearing the ever-popular chain-mail bikini, I loved Supes getting upper-cutted into the stratosphere because of his reluctance to slug Lois and I especially loved Big Blue using his brain instead of his mitts to end Rampage's...well....rampage I guess. We're even treated to a last page moment of classic Silver-Age super-dickery as Clark refuses to tell Lois where he/Supes had been for the three days after his confrontation with Rampage. Glorious! Top marks!

Don't worry loyal readers there'll be no super-dickery from YouAreComic as we can tell you exactly where Supes disappeared off to at the end of Superman #7. Why he went off to cross over with those lovable scamps in the Legion of Super-Heroes of course. Which is where we'll be heading to in our next extra-special installment of Post-Crisis Punch-Up. Don't miss it.