I know a lot of you good folks like to read about my adventures as the Amazing Spider-man. I'd bet a lot of you out there look at me swinging around, high above the New York City skyline and think 'Hey, that looks aces, I sure wish I could be like that guy'.
Well you're wrong!
You better thank your lucky stars your life isn't like mine! Sure sometimes you get that call from the Avengers to go off into space and help save the universe from the Stranger or some other big cosmic muckity muck. Yeah, sometimes you maybe get the chance to go dimension-hopping with Doctor Strange and that smoking hot chick with the white hair that hangs around his joint.
Mostly though it's trying to head down to your local for a few drinks with an old friend of your dads, to y'know shoot the breeze about old times and....
BOOM - you get attacked by the Squid:
That Sound You Hear Is The Bottom Of Super-Villain Animal Name Barrel Being Thoroughly Scraped.
I mean c'mon! Where does the criminal underworld get these guys? I mean I got home drenched head to toe in this guy's ink - and you know where the ink on a squid comes out don't you? I mean it's just - - it's just- -
Let's just say it makes me miss the fricking Clone Saga, y'know what I'm saying?
(Today's B-list belly aching was brought to you by Amazing Spider-Man v2 #26 by Howard Mackie and John Romita Jnr. This issue features the pulse pounding debut of The Squid. Seriously, I'm not kidding - the Squid. When is this guy getting a spot on the Thunderbolts?)