Tuesday, 24 July 2007

I had no idea that DC had let Grant Morrison & Mark Millar unleash their patented madness on the Flash title until I recently stumbled on Flash #131. This issue is part two of 'Emergency Stop' the team's first story-arc on the book.

Morrison & Millar are nothing if not idea men (and usually the stranger the idea the more likely that these two will spew it out onto the page). Take for example the villain of the piece in this issue - the Suit!

Hmmm The Suit eh? What kind of character might he be? Some crazy man in a radioactive tuxedo perhaps? Of course not - that's not nearly weird enough for those two freaks!

The suit is in fact an empty super-villain costume possessed by the spirit of a murderer who fried in the electric chair after being apprehended by the Flash.

No really, I'm not kidding, look:
Does my bum look big in this?

Now that might seem like the dumbest idea you've ever heard in your life - and it kind of is I guess - but Millar and Morrison can make anything fly.

I mean who would've thought an empty suit versus Jay Garrick (the Golden Age Flash), Impulse (speedy teeny-bopper from the future) and Max Mercury (zen speedster jackass) would be awesome? Not me, I'll tell you that - but lo and behold:
There's the pitch...

The awesome doesn't stop with the Suit possessing Max Mercury and throwing that annoying little bastard Impulse at a brick wall though. You see the wall in question is in fact connected to a prison which houses a veritable candy store of cheeseball third-rate super-criminals. Now thanks the Suit these losers are loose and only one man stands between them and the destruction of Keystone City -

- Oldest swinger in town, Jay Garrick!

Being that he's like 80 years old and hopelessly outnumbered we could forgive Jay for getting the hell out of there - but oh no he was already a hero back when most of these clowns were all about mommy's boobies.A hero doesn't turn tail and run. A hero stands his ground and acts 'ard:
I'll knock all of yer ballixes in

That's just kick ass isn't it. You gotta love Jay Garrick. You can keep your precious Barry Allen - Jay is without a doubt my all-time favorite scarlet speedster.

Being a Flash book you'd think this issue would suffer from the fact that Wally spends the whole thing out of action in a wheelchair with broken legs - but it doesn't at all. The other speedsters more than make up for his absence.

Hold up! The Flash has broken legs?

Oh yeah, he broke 'em last issue running into a wall. Don't worry he comes back as Golden Flash with a costume made out of Speed Force in this one.

Whaaa? Golden Flash? Speed Force costumes? You're shitting me!

I certainly am not! Go read it for yourself if you don't believe me. It's buck mad I'm telling you!!
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