Customer service

Always be courteous and polite
Ordering in a restaurant

Be clear about what you want
Arguing at a crowded party

Politely end the argument. Try not to raise your voice
Looking after an inebriated friend
Be understanding and don't take offense
Going to the bathroom

Always wash your hands
(Today's Mirth Designed Only For Komedy was brought to you by Ryan Dunlavey's M.O.D.O.K. Reign Delay. You should get it. It's funny. Nuff said.)
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