Into The Warped World Of Warren Ellis...

Warren Ellis...is a crazy man. I have no idea what goes on in that guy's head but all the things that make him nuts also make him an awesome comicbook writer.

The guy is an idea factory! He churns out ideas the way Britney Spears churns out babies and bald, gibbering insanity.

Feast your eyes on exhibit A: Desolation Jones #1This book is packed top to bottom with brilliant, if somewhat sick and twisted,ideas. Any one of which would be enough to bring you back for issue 2 but he just keeps packing 'em in there one after another.

How does the man do it?

Okay so he comes up with an idea for a book: 'it's about an ex-government spook who has gone freelance after being forcibly retired to LA with all his other nutcase spook buddies'. That's all gravy baby!

What possesses him to add: '- -and his first mission should be finding stolen Hitler porn!'

What the? You can't be serious? I hear you cry.

Check it out from the mouth of Desolation's crinkly, David-Lo-Pan-wannabee client himself:

Shut up Mr. Burton!

Anyone who is not coming back for more after that is simply dead inside, they probably command an army of winged monkeys and like to yell 'Fly My Pretties' too. Of course those who are coming back for more after that may just be sick little perverts hoping to catch a glimpse of the fornicating Furher - so I guess it's apples and oranges really.

If you still aren't convinced - here's a dude dressed like the Gimp from Pulp Fiction getting poked in the eye.

Poke!

You loved that didn't you? You can't resist a squelchy, eye-poking can you? Now you're coming back for issue 2 aren't you?

You people disgust me.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to have a cup of tea and watch 'I Mutilated Momma' on DVD.