Superman: Post-Crisis Punch-Up #7

It's been a while but at long last Post Crisis Punch-Up is back. We're going to check in and see what our big blue buddy was getting up to way back in May 1987. The good news is we're coming back in the same fashion that we left off with a sterling offering of books any one of which could've snagged our coveted top spot. So without further ado - let's see which one did.

Adventures Of Superman #430: I'm not kidding when I say any of these issues could've been top of the pile. In fact I feel a bit bad putting Marv and Jerry's Adventures back in the third spot yet again. This was a great issue and I enjoyed the hell out of it. Only it's lack of giant orange Amazonian chicas and lusty Platnium skanks kept it from glory. That doesn't detract a single thing from the awesome building story we're getting here. This might feature lots of Supes tussling with the Fearsome Five, a lamer bunch of super-villains you'd be hard pressed to find, but it is Clark's internal tussle that really takes centre stage. The burdens of his double life are gnawing at him in this one to the point that he's questioning whether being Clark and Superman is even a viable option. The whole thing is topped off with a wonderful heart-warming, mind-easing, father-son confab and a joyously triumphant rematch in which a smiling Supes takes down the Five and leaves us fist-pumping our way home. Could that possibly even be a sneaky tie back to the ongoing Circle subplot that I spy? Sneaky one fellas. Loved it.

Action Comics #590: Superman teaming up with the Metal Man by John Byrne and Dick Giordano? This one had me at hello. I don't think it's possible to have a comic book that features Doc Magnus and his magnificent Metal Men that's not awesome and this issue does nothing to prove that theory wrong. Byrne has these guys down pat - he's got them bickering, he's got Tin being bumbling, Mercury being snotty, Platnium putting the moves on a less than receptive Doc Magnus - complete with pipe! That's before we even mention the return of Chemo - this time shaped like a giant Superman! This one was a smorgasbord of all the beautifully clunky super-powered nonsense that makes the Metal Men great. It had the Metal Men joining together to form aeroplanes, Chemo-trapping domes and even a giant Metal-Man flavoured Voltron! All this wack-a-doodle is complimented delightfully by Supes getting his science on to win the day. He super-heats Chemo's chemical innards with some heat vision, turning him into steam, then super-breaths his goopy ass into orbit. Even if we're left in the dark as to why Doc Magnus is being such a jerk - this issue was still pure unadulterated comic-book joy. A+

Superman v2 #7: So this time around Superman by Byrne and Kesel scored the top spot. Why you ask? Well...I'm not really sure if I'm honest. It didn't have Metal Men or a touching fatherly moment with Pa Kent. I guess the idea that Lois Lane may have turned into a giant, solar-powered, orange-skinned, mohawk-sporting, Amazonian loony tune just kind of tickles me for some reason. The disappointment when we found out that Lois got blown up in mad scientist's experiment and all she got was this stupid head bandage didn't even ruin it because it was timed and executed kinda great. As it turns out the aforementioned giant amazonian chica, dubbed Rampage by the always inventive Metropolis media, actually turns out to be Doctor Kitty Faulkner. It's her lab and her renewable energy experiment that blew up. I'm not 100% on the science - but what I can tell you is when it blows up it imbues you with incredible strength, uncontrollable rage and Lois Lane's stupid 80s haircut:

Do You Like Flock Of Seagulls?

I had a blast reading this issue - even if I can't put my finger on why. I loved the Lois is the villain fake-out. I loved how the radiation suit design finally gave us a viable excuse for a female super-villain wearing the ever-popular chain-mail bikini, I loved Supes getting upper-cutted into the stratosphere because of his reluctance to slug Lois and I especially loved Big Blue using his brain instead of his mitts to end Rampage's...well....rampage I guess. We're even treated to a last page moment of classic Silver-Age super-dickery as Clark refuses to tell Lois where he/Supes had been for the three days after his confrontation with Rampage. Glorious! Top marks!

Don't worry loyal readers there'll be no super-dickery from YouAreComic as we can tell you exactly where Supes disappeared off to at the end of Superman #7. Why he went off to cross over with those lovable scamps in the Legion of Super-Heroes of course. Which is where we'll be heading to in our next extra-special installment of Post-Crisis Punch-Up. Don't miss it.

Superman: Post-Crisis Punch-up #6

Welcome back for another round of Post-Crisis Punch-up, it's week 6 and this time around we're going to be talking about the big blue boy-scouting that went on back in April 1987. I should say up front that all three issues in this installment of PCPU were top notch - any one could've been top of the heap. So my reasons for ranking them as I have may seem even more arbitrary then usual! Anyway let's get to it:

Adventures Of Superman #429:
As the cover suggests Adventures of Superman this month is all about Superman fighting a big monkey dude in questionable armor. That monkey-dude, Concussion by name, is the only reason this issue finds itself languishing in the bottom spot. Dude was lame. Everything that isn't that monkey-dude in this issue...is awesome. It's a veritable smorgasbord of sweet character moments. We get Cat Grant insulting Clark's taste in sweaters and emotionally confiding him about the painful custody situation with her son. We get Superman feeling powerless and awkward as he pays a visit to Cat's ex, movie-mogul Joseph Martin. Poor Supes realizes too late that to Martin and his son he comes across as Cat's hired goon strong-arming them for custody. Then it all goes to hell when the big purple monkey comes crashing in whooping and wailing about 'I'm gonna avenge the death of my telepathic cat pal* this' and 'you must die that'. Of course Superman makes with the fisticuffs and dispatches monkey-boy in a few panels but it's the aftermath and Superman's reaction to it, beautifully rendered under Jerry Ordway's masterful pencil, that's worth the price of admission. Martin has been seriously injured in the melee and his son doesn't want the cape wearing wack-job responsible for bringing all this random destruction down on them anywhere near him or his dad. Superman's dejected expression as he's reduced to calling 911 for help is a masterpiece. In the end Cat gets to be reunited with her son, but not under circumstances anyone would've wanted and Supes is left pondering whether he can afford to ever blur the line between Clark and Superman again. Excellent stuff - kudos Mr Wolfman.
* NOTE: In case my 'telepathic cat' reference slips by you, Concussion is a member of the Circle who Supes has clashed indirectly with already in this Adventures Of Superman run. You can bet this isn't the last we'll see of them.

Superman v2 #6:
This issue opens with a jaw-dropping splash page - Safari Lois finds the Superman costume among Clark's things!! You'll remember that stubbly Clark was seemingly whacked by a large robot mummy last issue. It seems he was retrieved and brought back to base camp by Lois and her archaeologist pals - he recovers just in time to see himself outed. Luckily everyone, except for Supes, has been possessed by the minds of an ancient alien race courtesy of the giant robot mummy - Phew! Incidentally all of this batshit information is communicated to us by way of flashbacks framed by a sequence of Superman and the giant mummy robot having an awesome, destructive battle of Godzilla proportions in the middle of a large South American city! That boys and girls - is comics! The resolution is an equally delicious slice of comic-book insanity as the blabbermouth aliens and their equally chatty robo-mummy pal sow the seeds of their own destruction. From their yakking Supes learns not only that the alien's can't decide which of them should get to wear his super-powered body but also the robo-mummy when under threat is capable of sucking all of the alien minds out of their host bodies and back into itself. So Supes pounds the mummy until it gets upset enough to suck it's alien pals back out of Lois and co. Then using his super-noggin, he plays possum, pretending his chiseled pecs and rakish spit-curl are up for grabs, knowing that the alien minds controlling the robot won't be able to form an orderly queue in their rush to possess his body. The resulting contention between the arguing alien back seat drivers overloads the robot and makes him fall down, go boom. Lois remembers nothing, Superman makes flimsy excuses about where Clark went and we're done! A joy to read - so much fun!

Action Comics #589:
Okay so nothing about this comic makes it better than either of the preceding two, other than my completely subjective love for this era of the Green Lantern Corps - so deal with it ya poozers! That's not to say that this comic is not a shit-ton of fun -because it is. It also gets extra points by dredging up and re-using a plot point from a previous batshit crazy Byrne issue of Action.
So we open with resident GL totty Arisa discovering Superman floating unconscious in space where those jerk Hawks left him last issue. Once she and her fellow GLs get him aboard their temporary space citadel (an awesome sentence that I just don't get to say enough) and reassure him that Earth isn't under attack from an imaginary Thangarian invasion fleet, they notice a massive cloud of biological gunk winging it's way ominously toward Earth.
Sounds simple right? Big Blue and the GLs will just fly out there and whup some evil living space cloud ass! Uh Uh - this cloud of biological stink knows how to defend itself (with spiky balls and slimy tentacles apparently)! So what? That still shouldn't be problem for this lot! Wrong - all of the cloud defenses are...yellow! Goddamn that shitty Green Latern luck - every goddamned threat they face turns out to be goddamned yellow - where are all the purple and blue alien menaces huh? That's what I want to know!
Anyway,  things go from bad to bonkers as Hal discovers among all of the mustard tentacles and other assorted alien guck...a grave marker:

That's when Supes figures it out. Remember that sentient graveyard he and the Phantom Stranger tossed into orbit a few issues back? This is it and it's pissed! Clearly just tossing every single threat into space is not as solid a plan as Post-Crisis Superman originally thought - damn, that was his go-to play too! Then an ingenious plan comes to him, adding his own willpower to the formidable mental might of the gathered GLs they form a massive planet-stopping claw and.....push the thing a wee bit further out into space. Hmmm, while on paper it sound like the same bad plan over again - the giant cloud of alien puke freezes solid - so clearly the Earth is now completely safe from it now and forever. Huzzah! Good job guys!

Superman: Post-Crisis Punch-up #5

It's that time again folks. We're back for another exciting installment of Post-Crisis Punch-up, for those of you keeping track this is week 5 of our Post-Crisis Superman coverage. All of the issues we'll be gassing about this time around came out in the May 1987. Let's get down to business.

 Adventures Of Superman #428:
Despite last week's victory charge Adventures Of Superman slips back to the bottom of the pile this time around. Things were going so well for Wolfman and Ordway too - they have a bunch of interesting subplots on the go, they've got yummy mummy Cat Grant - then they go and say those three little words: Jerry Frickin' White! Gah! Okay, okay, I'm being a little unfair here. The moral dilemma Perry White is confronted with in this story is really compelling - maintain his journalistic integrity or save the life of his son? Sweet! Jerry's reaction after his rescue when he learns that Perry struggled with that decision is equally understandable and compelling. It's fantastic character work from Wolfman. Sadly I just can't get past the fact that Jerry White is a horrible, obnoxious little snot. Reading a story where I'm supposed to hope that he doesn't get killed is just too tall an order. I'm going give Marv and Jerry (Ordway not White) a pass here though because 'Superman versus goons with guns' stories are hard to pull off, they need to have a ton of heart - and this one's got that in spades. A good job guys - chalk this ranking up to nothing but Jerry the Weasel.

Action Comics #588:
This is a great issue. This and the Superman v2 issue were neck and neck for the top spot. Despite being the concluding part of a larger story (the rest of which I haven't read) I not only followed it but enjoyed the hell out of it! I mean what's not to enjoy. It's got Supes in space. It's got the Hawks. It's got a Thanagarian invasion fleet. It's got a trussed up loud mouth villain sassing our heroes throughout - it's a riot! This issue is chock full of great moments. From Supes flying a disobedient spaceship from the inside through the power of sheer Kryptonian muscle; to him and him taking on the invasion fleet with his bare fists, to Hawkgirl brutally kicking the shit out of all the bad guys single handed; it's all gravy. The resolution wasn't the greatest being that this was the end of a multi-part epic depicting intergalactic war. Essentially the Hawks turn on a doohickey built into the Thanagarian ships (Operation MacGuffin I believe it was called) and *poof* the invasion is teleported across the universe lickety split! Earth is saved - job's a good 'un! However even that dodgy setup is given a few scoops of pathos by the possibility that the same thing that banishes the invasion fleet may boot our heroes so far off into the universe that it would take more than a lifetime to get back. Thankfully when the dust settles the Hawks are still in our solar system but Superman - he's floating out in space unconscious, hurt...or worse Dun!Dun! Dun! Them's good comics folks - hats off to Mr Byrne.

Superman v2 #5:
So the winner from this week's kryptonian crop is Superman v2. However the reasons why this one pipped Supes & The Hawks Excellent Adventures are entirely subjective....some might say irrational! First up, it would seem I'm just thoroughly tickled  by the concept of Superman versus a giant Mummy (even if the mummy turns out to be a big, tubby robot with eye lasers and rocket boots)! Then of course there's super-stubble! That's right the perennial YouAreComic favorite super-fashion-statement puts in appearance contrasting nicely with Clark's bright lemon shirt. This time however super-stubble is used as a plot point ! When Clark needs to tackle the angry robo-mummy he can't change to Superman as Lois might spot their matching five o'clock shadow and realize Supes and Clark are one and the same! Honestly though I don't think he should've worried so much - I mean if up to now she hasn't noticed the fact that the two of them look exactly-the-frickin'-same except for a pair of glasses...it's probably all good. Speaking of Lois she single-handedly scores this issue a load of extra points this month by dressing up as that chick from George of the Jungle:

Watch Out For That Tree

If I'm being honest I'm not the biggest fan of Byrne's visual take on Lois. The short hair, snark and power suit get-up is not the Lois of my dreams, but I gotta say there's something about Safari Lois that I kinda like. One thing I didn't like was that Byrne pulled the whole 'Oh No Superman\Clark is Dead' cliffhanger fake-out this month in both Superman issue and in the Adventures issue! What's up with that? That aside, I liked Supes in civvies mummy-fighting , I liked the use of the classic 'inquisitive archaeologists unleashe ancient evil' set-up, I liked the 'Holy Crap it's really that big white dude from Big Hero Six' last page reveal. I just straight up liked this issue and named it the winner because it's my blog and I decide - so there!

Superman: Post-Crisis Punch-up #4

So here we are safely out the other side of our three-issue crossover and back to our regularly scheduled program. We're in month four of our Post-Crisis Superman coverage, that takes us up to April 1987. So let's get down to business and see who was on top of the pile:

Action Comics #587: In what is a shocking reversal of fortunes Action Comics drops from top dog to runt of the little for it's April '87 offering. What makes it even more surprising is that this issue takes us back to the Action Comics as Superman Team-Up format that we've been loving since the reboot. This time Big Blue is teamed-up with one of my favorite DC characters of all time Etrigan the Demon! The art was also top notch and included a beautifully rendered Kryptonian/Demon throw-down. Sadly it was a lackluster story that let the side down in this one when Jason Blood's occult dabbling pals accidentally turn themselves into giant magical...um...skyscrapers?? It's not really clear but we do know when Supes, trying as usual to solve the world's every problem with a knuckle sandwich, punches them - they bleed. With a quick smidgen of time travel, a dash of busting into a poor old peasant's home and a sprinkle of smashing up Morgan Le Fay's magical doohickey  - Poof! Everything's back to good, Marty McFly style. Plus Etrigan didn't rhyme - it's always more fun when Etrigan rhymes.

Adventures of Superman #427: With Action Comics faltering this month Ordway and Wolfman see their chance and hit us with the most interesting issue of Adventures of Superman so far. This issue sees Superman attacking the Middle Eastern terrorist nation Qurac under the mental manipulation of a burka wearing, sewer-dwelling, telepathic, anthropomorphic cat! We're treated to Big Blue storming the palace and pounding on the evil genocidal Quraqui president until the telepathic cat's assault sends him spiraling into a series of discombobulating visions. Visions of his biological, asshat parents, of his revenge hungry villains, of Lois, Cat Grant and Lana Lang having a slut-off for his attention and, for some reason, Godzilla? Any way the strain of the mental assaults leaves Supes confused and restless, his cat-faced adversary dead and the cat-man's skull-faced wife and her burka-clad associates (a mysterious group known as the  Circle) hot for some Super-blood. Mystery, Intrigue...we like it...well we like more than we like giant robot caterpillars anyway.

Superman v2 #4: It's got a great cover, a beefy, teched-out, gun-toting villain straight out of the 90s - but in the 80s and a wonderfully clunky emotional pay-off. This is 80s comics as I remember them best. So a big masked goofball calling himself Bloodsport is shooting up Metropolis because people don't appreciate their hard-won freedom enough! Supes is unable to simply swoop in and stop him because dude's got teleport tech and Kryptonite bullets. It's all as ludicrous and wonderful as it sounds - including a short moment of Jimmy Olsen 'Action Hero'! It all builds to a final confrontation where Supes, having negated Bloodsport weapons teleporter, by using his brain for a change, forces the big galoot to play his trump card - his big atomic trump card. But before he can blow Metropolis to kingdom come Jimmy shows up wtih Bloodsport's war veteran, paraplegic brother in tow.

Dammit Lil Bro, What've I Told You About Borrowing My Bazooka Without Asking?

 Turns out Bloodsport dodged enlistment and his brother took his place and got himself blown to kibbles and bits. His guilt over his brother getting injured in his place is what drove him to all this hot lead tomfoolery. So Bloodsport's kill-frenzy ends with him weeping and hugging his brother for all he's worth. Go Jimmy. Nothing earth-shattering here, no paradigm shifting revelations, there were even some clunky moments - but an enjoyable Superman story told with heart. Nice job Mr Byrne.

Superman: Post-Crisis Punch-up #3

Welcome back to our latest installment of Post Crisis Punch-up. This time around we're travelling back to the halcyon days of March 1987 when summers were warmer, skies were bluer, the men were men, the rocky intergalactic dictators wore trunks and all we loyal, fresh-faced, still-wet-behind-the-ears DC fans were treated to the very first Post-Crisis Superman crossover.

Strap in tight folks, we're head to Apokolips and it's going to be a wild, if somewhat un-fulfilling ride:

Adventure of Superman #426
Was it just me or did this, the second of our three crossover chapters, seem really long? Normally that's a good thing, but here it felt like a lot of our time was spent lurching haphazardly from one scene to the next trying to keep in-step with our dazed and confused hero. From the Hunger Dog fishing trip that kicks things off, to Big Blue coming to the aid of, then seemingly bumping uglies with Amazing Grace (who by the way is punching far above her weight in my bitchy opinion) it seems a long, hard slog. There is an awesome full page Ordway splash of Supes, now dubbed Savior in his Grace-fueled confusion. He's sporting a tattered S-cape flag, a good crop of the always welcome super-stubble and is whomping the shit out of a bunch of Darkseid's minions with a mace! You gotta love that! The issue ends with super-stubbly-Savior throwing his new-found Hunger Dog allies to the para-demon shaped wolves, then pledging his allegiance and his daddy-issues to Darkseid. How easily the unattractive redhead and the dark master of the Mankini got Supes to pull a heel turn kinda leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Superman v2 #3
This one almost grabbed the top spot on the strength of that sweet cover alone - lookit that thing! As for the story, I guess it follows on from an issue of Legends that I haven't read because we join things already in motion with Clark Kent being pursued through the streets of Metropolis by Darkseid's Omega Beams (which is just as ridculuous/awesome as it sounds). Despite his impressive duckings and divings they catch up and zap him directly into Darkseid's throne-room - where the Titan of Trunks promptly tosses his sorry, bespectacled ass out a window. It's a great opening! The rest of the issue follows a disguised Superman slumming it with the down-trodden residents of the Armaghetto and mouthing off to its cruel overlords until they sic a big robot on him! While the battle with the Pacifier robot is pretty sweet (with a nice 'no-one can be that strong' moment) it ends much too abruptly with a nose-dive into a fire-pit. Not a bad issue, but it does suffer for its distinct lack of New Gods, Female Furies and super-stubble!

Action Comics #586
Action Comics again? Are we beginning to see a pattern emerging here? Thankfully after three issues of bated breath - we finally get some New Gods (and a Granny Goodness cameo Weee-Hooo!). Its this issue's battles with first Orion and Lightray and then finally the big D himself that pushes it firmly into pole position. The fight with Orion is appropriately brutal if a little short. We're also treated to, the much more attractive this time around, Amazing Grace receiving her come-uppance at the hands of Lightray. He blinds her skanky ass when she tries her patented 'feel-them-up-into-submission' move. Once Big Blue's mind is put right (easy peasy lemon squeezy if you've got a Motherbox in your pocket) he hits us with a classic Darth Vader 'Nooooo':

Padddmmeeee!!!!

Then zips right off to kick Darkseid's ass. Byrne gives us a memorable fight scene. Clark turning the Omega Beams back on their master then repeatedly chin-checking Darkseid until he finally puts him on his bathing suited ass. Sadly we end anti-climatically with Darkseid going out like a chump by boom-tubing the fighting mad boy scout back to Metropolis. Boo-urns!

As first crossovers go, this could've gone better. But fear not loyal YouAreComicers, our uneven, pun-heavy coverage can't be derailed by unsatisfying storylines or by dictatorial swimwear fetishes. We'll be back with more Post-Crisis Punch-Up in a few short weeks.

Superman: Post Crisis Punchup #2

Welcome back loyal readers for round two of Post Crisis Punchup, where we're going to dig into the second monthly batch of Superman issues to be published after Crisis On Infinite Earths. So let's travel back to Feb 87 pull on our Miami Vice-style sport coat, throw a Van Halen cassette in our Ghetto-blaster and talk about...

Superman v2 #2:
As you can tell from the cover, this is a Lex-centric issue. Normally that would be a winning formula, but this issue comes bottom of the pile this month. It's got its high points: The always awesome and beefy Byrne art; some classic Luthor douche-baggery (including strong-arming foxy scientist chicks into dating him, ripping out Metallo's kryptonite heart without even a howdy-doo and ordering the brutal torturing of Lana Lang). This one also boasts one classic moment, when a ultra smug Lex manhandles a kryponite-weakened and thoroughly befuddled Supes out of his office. So what's the problem I hear you cry. This issue drops to dead last the instant super-smart, titan of business Lex Luthor receives the conclusion from his Secret-Identity-cracking-super-computer that Clark Kent is Superman and he...fires/dumps the foxy scientist who built it and has it scrapped. Not once does he consider 'Hmmm, now that you mention it that reporter who writes the uncannily detailed stories about Superman does look remarkably similar - except for those pesky glasses, maybe I should head over to the newsroom and stick a kryptonite shiv in that guy just in case'. I know its supposed to be character revealing moment showing how power hungry Lex doesn't comprehend altruism and benevolence but come on this just makes him seem galactically dumb. Not a quality we're looking for in our resident super-genius megalomaniac.

Adventures Of Superman #425:
This one's a continuation of last issue's stand-off between Big Blue, the giant robot catapilar and his metal insect buddies, who if you remember have formed a Voltron-like super robot bug in a effort to destroy Metropolis. This clunky concept is improved upon in this issue by using the sob story of Professor Emil Hamilton as a framing device. Hamilton is a mad scientist going out of his way to earn that epithet. In an effort to prove how effective his laser grid invention is he first uses it to trap then shoot at his potential investors. When that doesn't score him a juicy government contract, he then decides ensnaring Superman and an angry robot caterpillar in his laser grid is the surefire road to victory-  sadly this only goads the robo-pillar's crazy pilots to fry themselves. Then finally he goes right off the deep end, takes a random hostage at gunpoint and forces Supes to run a gauntlet of his frankly mind-boggling inventions. I guess he missed the submission deadline for Dragon's Den. That and some sweet Ordway panel composition bumps Adventures to second place this month.

Action Comics #585:
Continuing it's domination of the top spot, Action Comics sticks to the winning formula of masquerading as Superman Team-Up. Let's face it readers throwing the Phantom Stranger in your book almost guarantees you the top spot in any YouAreComic chart. Having him team with Superman to fight a sentient  graveyard bent on world domination takes 'almost' right the hell out of the equation. As if such magical mumbo jumbo isn't enough the evil graveyard is brought to angry, boulder-tossing life thanks to a mystical artifact falling out of the sky in the aftermath of Big Blue's battle with the sky-palace & armour bikini sporting imortal goddess Arathaza (who it turns out is secretly homely secretary Barb Kowaleski). We join Superman's battle with Arathaza in the middle on page one. By page three she's warped Superman into an old man. By page five he's tricked her back to being plain old bitter Barb. Page 8 - Boom - sentient graveyard. Decompression be damned - this my loyal YouAreComicers is comics done right. Also the Phantom Stranger gives some dead folks a damn good tongue lashing in his own inimitable style

Dost Your Mother Know You Weareth Her Drapes?

Don't worry folks the whole evil sentient graveyard thing, that incidently is powered by the anger of dead murderers, gets sorted out lickety split before the issue wraps. Supes defaults to his go-to solution here in the Post-Crisis universe. Dig up the ground below the problem then fly the whole shebang into space. Jobs a good 'un!


So that's Post-Crisis punch-up part two. Hope you enjoyed this trip in the Wabac machine as much as we did. Come back for more in a few weeks time. Next week promises a crossover across all three books. It'll have Orion, Darkseid and super-stubble!!

Nuff said.

Superman: Post Crisis Punch-Up #1

I'm a big fan of Superman, but for some reason throughout my comic-book reading career my reading of the Man of Steel's various series has been spotty at best. To redress this terrible wrong I've decided to go all the way back to the first appearances of Post Crisis Superman after he was re-introduced in John Byrne's awesome Man of Steel mini-series - then start reading in sequence.

Then just so that my loyal YouAreComic readers can join the fun I'm going to talk about them month by month and decide when each title was at it's...um...super-est?

So set your WABAC machine for Jan 1987 as we get rolling with:


Adventures Of Superman #424:
 So coming in third in this our inaugural post-crisis punch-up is Adventures of Superman. I actually enjoyed this issue quite a lot, just not as much as I enjoyed the other two. Giant Mecha-Caterpillar wrecking up Metropolis? As storylines go that's pretty good fun. Especially when said robot caterpillar has guns for eyes and connects to a bunch his bug-themed robot pals to form Mecha-Pillar Voltron! Besides the hijinks with the mecha-sects, this issue also has some sweet character moments for our supporting cast. There's Lex scheming to help Lois Lane's terminally ill mother to get her under his thumb, and of course Clark accidentally falling onto the ample and welcoming rack, oops I meant into the arms of new Daily Planet gossip reporter and resident sex kitten Cat Grant while freeing his leg from an elevator (freeing his leg from an elevator - WTF?!?). Then there's the art. I'm normally a big fan or Jerry Ordway's work but I have to say this isn't my favourite outing of his (although there is a full page splash of Superman flying that is fantastic). All in all, while this was a solid issue it just didn't pop and fizz quite as much as the competition this month.

Superman v2 #1
That is an awesome cover, That alone bumped this one up the ranking before I even cracked it open. Byrne and Austin do a great looking Superman. As for the inside? This is a classic Superman issue. We open with Supes getting his Batman on investigating a lead lined lab that's packed wall to wall with equipment and data about him. Of course the Dark Knight's detective work rarely includes digging the entire lab complex out of the ground with heat vision and flying it and the chunk of ground it was sitting on into orbit for further study at a later date. He's got no time for mysterious dead scientists or their dastardly plans to utterly destroy him - dude's got a jogging date with Lois! We get some standard Clark/Lois back and forth (he's aiming for charming but comes off needy and desperate, she's derisive and mean) then they happen across a bank robbery in progress. We instantly forgive this most Silver Agey of co-inky-dinks when the bank robber is revealed to be Metallo (sleazy, white-haired and wearing a questionable, chest baring, purple waistcoat - but Metallo none the less)! The rest of the issue consists of Metallo jovially beating the tar out of a thoroughly confused Superman (this is his first Post Crisis encounter with Kryptonite). The longer the fight goes on the more messed up Metallo gets, but nothing that happens stops him from pounding on poor befuddled Supes. They even drop a building on him, ruining his snazzy waistcoat and stripping him down to his metal skeleton, but the beating continues until Metallo is mysteriously whisked away by an envious Lex. This story is as simple and straight forward as super-hero stories come, but at the same time it is a total blast. The big bombastic action (complete with the 'punches through buildings' that made a Superman fan of me as a tyke) is pure joy and the art is second to none. Wolfman's story in Adventure may have had more meat to it, but he's pipped out of second place by the Post-Crisis re-introduction of a classic villain.

Action Comics 584
Damn! What a cover!  What is it about smug, jerk Superman that just makes you love him and want to see more of him? Add to that the Titans (including Byrne's rendition of Donna Troy in what is undoubtedly her best costume), and a big arrow shaped blurb that basically tells the whole story right there on the cover! What can I say this issue had me at hello! The story inside is every bit as bonkers the cover promises. It opens with smug jerk Superman tearing up Metropolis for kicks. In another of those Silver Age co-inky-dinks Teen Titan Victor 'Cyborg' Stone happens to be on the scene wearing one of those fetching trench-coat and fedora ensembles favoured by the disfigured superhuman community. He swoops in to save the day with some cool cybernetic trapeze artistry that would make the Boy Wonder jealous. Sadly this just ticks the Man Of Steel off, prompting him to tear the unfortunate Titan literally limb from limb. This in turn prompts Cyborg to contact his fellow Titans for help. Help comes in the form of Beast Boy (who figures a big green elephant might succeed where a state of the art, fully armed cybernetic super-hero failed), master of the psychic perm Jericho (who manages to finally stop Smugerman's rampage by possessing him) and Wonder Girl (who wins this issue the top spot in one panel with her inventive weaponzing of a nearby Buick):

To Donna 'The Hammer' Troy Everything Looks Like A Nail

This issue wraps up rather abruptly when crutch-bound bystander David Gunderson reveals, to the shock of everyone in attendance, that he is Superman! Turns out 'amateur' scientist David Gunderson invented a machine that can switch human minds from one body into another. In flashback we learn how he placed a quick call to Clark 'Sure, I'd Love To Invest In Your Pyramid Scheme' Kent and lured Superman to his house where he switched their bodies. Sadly he didn't bother to purchase a halfway decent door-lock, y'know one that couldn't be easily picked by a disabled scientist with a confused Kyptonian in his brain. So Supes escaped and explains to the Titans how to put all the toys back in the box. All that leaves us just enough time for a patented Big Blue Boy Scout 'after-school-special' lecture and a moment with Lex kicking himself that he never thought of the 'just call him up and invite him over to your house' plan.

And boom that's your lot of Post Crisis Superman's first showings and how I ranked 'em.

Wow, Superman sure spent a lot of time confused back in Jan 87. Hopefully he'll manage to get his shit together in time for our next exciting instalment of Superman: Post Crisis Punch Up!

See you then